I heard a term recently that struck me. In a podcast by Gil Fronsdal, primary teacher at the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, California, he referred to a phenomenon in the spiritual publishing industry known as Bed Stand Buddhists. It seems that there is a sizable number of people out there who love to read about Buddhism, who love the way the literature, whether it’s one of the Sutras or contemporary writings, makes them feel. There is a sense of peace found in the writings, but this is as far as they go. Bed Stand Buddhists never take the big next step which is from bed to cushion.

Maybe the reason this struck me so much is that I am desperate to apply and actively engage in my practice – both on the yoga mat and on the cushion with my meditation practice. However, I love books, love the intellectual challenges of philosophy and various spiritual writings and if I’m not vigilant about things I could easily succumb to the lure of purely intellectual exercises at the expense of what matters most: engaged practice.

I’ve been a Bed Stand Buddhist and theoretical Yogi as much as I’ve been an engaged, active, practicing one. Yes, I meditate and practice yoga often, but I also spend a lot of time reading books about Buddhism, reading books on yoga, both topics are profoundly interesting to me. So, how do I balance my curiosity with my desire to live by the words and ideas I so frequently immerse myself in?

I find it easy to lapse into passivity. When I’m honest with myself, I’m far too often guilty of forgoing practice in order to better prepare for practice. Preparation is highly overrated. Yes, techniques matter. How we breath matters. It’s also important that we have in place solid foundations for our yoga and meditation. However, at some point, we have to jump. I’ve meditated for years. I’ve been practicing yoga for a few years now. What I’ve found is that regardless of progress and profound insights and success, I’m still drawn to books for that other missing insight, that key secret that’ll make it all easier. But, it’s not easy. It’s hard, frustrating, beautiful, transformative and profound work. And at the end of the day, all we have is ourselves. And we’re responsible for our progress.

Maybe I’m too hard on myself. That’s okay, too.