Everytime I watch the Karate Kid I’m left with this nagging qustion that has pretty much ruined the movie for me: What’s the deal with the fat guy in Cobra Kai? You know the one pictured left fighting the really speedy guy who lost to Johnny in the quarter finals although he clearly had better moves than any Cobra Kai.

But, if Cobra Kai was all about picking on social outcasts, why wouldn’t the fat guy have been the first to go? He wasn’t up to snuff. Daniel La Russo was much cooler than that guy. What gives? But there he his fighting in the tournament, lumbering around the stage before catching a flying kick to the chest that wasn’t even that hard. I mean, what a wuss. La Russo got his knee hyperextended and probably all his ligaments stretched and torn and he still beat Johnny with a bad-ass crane kick right to the nose. And I know, all of you from the “Mr. Myagi has magic hands school” may disagree, but all the massaging in the world ain’t gonna take that pain away. Special ancient technique or no special ancient technique.

The Cobra Kai were all about “No mercy” and had it drilled into them with a relentless vigor by Sensei. Great. I get it. But then I see the fat guy and think why does he get a free pass? He doesn’t represent Cobra Kai values. The only thing that didn’t get mercy from him was a visit to the all you can eat buffets around town. They clearly cut him lots of slack and showed lots of mercy to his out of shape, huffing and puffing ass.

This just bothers me. Don’t ask me why. But it has come to ruin the Karate Kid for me. I’ll get into the why there’s no way in hell Ralph Macchio could ever take Steve Vai in a guitar duel in a later post.